Introduction

Over the past several decades, The People’s Republic of China has undergone considerable change. Market reforms, coupled with demographic transitions, have led to an increasing middle class population and greater contact with Western ideologies (Zhang 2010). Over the same time, considerable changes in intimate relationships have occurred, as China has experienced a substantial increase in rates of cohabitation (Zhang 2017), a rising age at first marriage (Feng and Quanhe 1996), increases in the rate of divorce (Chen et al. 2012), and decreases in overall fertility rates (Jones 2007). These changes are not alone, as rates of premarital sex are also increasing (Higgins et al. 2002). Within the context of traditional Chinese culture, these changes are indicative of a seismic shift in attitudes concerning sexual behaviors (Jeffreys 2006)—a sexual revolution which is affecting the nature of intimate relationships.

As is the case with many aspects of cultural change, the youth segment of the population is on the cutting edge of change regarding sex and sexual intimacy. Among college students, approximately one-third report having premarital sex (Chi et al. 2015), indicating a substantial increase from the early 1990s, when less than one out of five college students reported having had sexual intercourse (Zhang et al. 2004). The presence of sexual intimacy within the culture has seemingly moved beyond simply greater tolerance (Higgins et al. 2002) to a true acceptance on the cultural scale, as sexual topics, such as extramarital affairs, have become a staple on Chinese television shows (Platt 1999). The greater sexual intimacy among college students is noteworthy, given that most colleges and universities continue to discourage such activities through the use of abstinence policies and sex education courses (Aresu 2009). Nonetheless, young adults tend to regard previously taboo issues, such as having premarital sex, multiple partners, masturbation, as well as gay and lesbian relationships, with a greater acceptance than earlier generations (Kaufman and Jing 2002).

Both generational and gender divides exist which may potentially affect young adults’ initiation into sexual intimacy. Parents of young adults tend to espouse more traditional attitudes concerning relationships (Chen et al. 2009), while contemporary college students have largely adopted more progressive attitudes (Tang and Zuo 2000), and regard dating relationships, wherein couples can express themselves physically, as a normal and expected part of relationships (Yang 2011). Hence, the increasingly individualist nature of younger adults may lead them to approach dating in a manner which is quite distinct from that of their parents’ generation. The traditional and patriarchal elements of Chinese culture may also be linked to the double standard which exists in regards to the perspectives of young men and women concerning dating and intimacy (Piotrowski et al. 2016). Young men often emphasize beauty as a desired quality in a woman, whereas women focus upon the financial standing of a man (Xia and Zhou 2003). While young men commonly regard sexual intimacy as a normal part of dating relationships, they also prefer their eventual brides to be virgins (Ji 1990). Understandably, researchers have called for further examination of how familial and gendered factors may be affecting intimate relationships among young Chinese adults (Jankowiak and Li 2017).

These changes in sexual intimacy, while seemingly progressive, must still be regarded as changing within a culture which has long suppressed such topics (Chen 2017). While a wealth of scholarly investigation has been directed toward the study of intimate relationships in Western cultures, comparatively fewer have examined the nature of such relationships within the context of Chinese culture (Bello et al. 2010), and particularly so in regard to sexual behaviors (Trent and South 2012). Chinese colleges have been described as “love havens,” given the levels of dating and interpersonal intimacy which occur there (Xia and Zhou 2003), yet the specific patterns of physical intimacy remain unclear. This study will attempt to examine the current state of beliefs concerning sexual intimacy among young adults in China, with a specific focus upon two of the most basic forms, kissing and sexual intercourse. Both of these represent significant milestones in an intimate relationship, and understanding the attitudes of young women and men concerning these behaviors is necessary, as these have implications for a variety of individual health and family formation outcomes.

Sexual Intimacy in the Chinese Context

As is the case with every society, cultural attitudes concerning sexual behaviors have developed over many years in China. In its early history, the mere discussion of sex was considered to be immoral, in and of itself (So and Cheung 2005). In late imperial China, sexual intercourse was intended to occur solely for the purpose of procreation, and its pragmatic purpose was emphasized, rather than being seen as a pleasurable act (Farrer et al. 2012). Premarital sex was regarded as immoral, and those committing this act could be arrested (Farrer 2002). The tenets of Confucianism underscored the need for female chastity, such that brides should retain their virginity until their wedding night.

Oversight and control of youth, particularly in matters of sexual behavior, were achieved primarily by their parents. Through many centuries, Chinese children were taught to display respect toward their parents, to obey without question, and instilled with a sense of obligation toward their parents and their larger kin network, both living and deceased (Yeh and Bedford 2003). Within the family, parents regarded the development of independence and autonomy by children as undesirable (Chao 1994). Family dynamics have traditionally been influenced by expectations of filial piety, or “xiao” (Han 2008). Filial piety has a considerably long foundation, dating to the beginnings of Confucianism, around 770 BC. The standards of filial piety established and maintained patriarchal authority, with fathers wielding power over children and wives, as both were expected to defer to his authority (Qi 2014).

Parental control over sexual intimacy was most clearly evident in their respective authority over the selection of a spouse. From the 16th century forward, the majority of marriages in China were arranged by parents (Wolf and Huang 1980). The past century, though, has been witness to a variety of changes in regard to how adults choose an intimate partner. In 1950, the New Marriage Law established the freedom for individuals to choose their own spouse, and further declared traditional forms of family authority were to be disallowed. While advancing norms of egalitarianism, the New Marriage Law effectively allowed young adults to engage in the selection of partners of their own choosing. However, this also created a normative void for single adults, for while they may have wanted to select their own intimate partner, there were no established norms to guide them through this new opportunity. In addition, the long-standing gender roles were not so easily changed, either. The tenets of traditional Confucianism stipulated that women should be submissive and defer to the authority of men (Yu and Chau 1997). A double standard existed, wherein females were expected to maintain their virginity, yet males were allowed a great degree of discretion in terms of sexual activities (Higgins et al. 2002). Extramarital affairs involving husbands are largely tolerated, while wives’ infidelity is regarded as shameful and grounds for divorce (Li and Wei 2010).

Over recent decades, patterns of sexual intimacy have changed substantially. In regard to finding a partner, young adults are increasingly exercising individual choice, and have begun to engage in Western forms of couple dating (Pochinga 2004). Sexual intimacy, ranging from public displays of affection to kissing to premarital sex, has become quite common, particularly among young adults (Farrer 2002; Gui 2017; Jankowiak and Li 2017). One recent study revealed an average age at first sexual intercourse of 21.9 years (Steinmuller and Tan 2015). Increasing population shifts into urban areas, along with high sex ratios, have been linked to higher rates of premarital sex, as well as having sexual intercourse with more than one partner (Trent and South 2011). Additional changes in sexual behaviors, such as increased substance use and high-risk sexual behavior (Bao et al. 2014), increasing rates of prostitution (Boittin 2013), higher consumption of pornography (Wang et al. 2000), and increasing risks of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies (Wang and Davidson 2006). Simply, sexual behaviors, across the entire spectrum, have transitioned from being taboo and unseen to being tolerated, at the very least, and acceptable on a cultural scale.

Dating, Gender, and Sexual Attitudes

As cultural norms and accompanying behaviors have changed over time, so too have the attitudes concerning sexual intimacy. From a practical perspective, such attitudes are likely to promote sexual behaviors, and thus have implications for consequences ranging from the rates of pregnancies, to sexual diseases, and even sexual violence (Farrer 2002). Within the ever-changing landscape of Chinese culture, it is essential to obtain a greater understanding of sexual attitudes. While the greater tolerance of sexual issues, such as the increase in premarital sex, has been noted (Kaufman and Jing 2002), the precise sexual attitudes of young adults remain rather vague. Even defining the contemporary conceptualization of “love” is challenging, as attraction to a potential mate has traditionally involved the consideration of familial and social obligations, thus reducing the affective dimension of finding a partner (Hsu 1981). Hence, intimacy tends to be derived primarily from one’s own family, while romantic feelings are viewed largely as part of the final step toward marriage (Gao 2001).

Within Chinese culture, relationships are more likely to be evaluated by how well they satisfy the needs of the family, as well as how they are regarded by the surrounding community (Hsu 1981; Zhang 2017). The interpersonal harmony of such relationships is highly desired, while the passionate aspects, at least as defined in Western cultures, are of lesser importance (Markus and Kitayama 1991). As previously stated, the notions of individual choice and romantic involvement are relatively new within Chinese culture, yet researchers have proposed that young adults in contemporary China, as a consequence of modernization and social change, have begun to regard love in a manner more similar to their Western counterparts, rather than the perspectives of their parents (Lange et al. 2015). Likewise, the attitudes concerning sexual intimacy are similarly new, and continue to evolve.

Understandably, in order to fully comprehend how such attitudes arise and change necessitates a consideration of the larger social and cultural contexts. Traditional Chinese culture, with its foundation of Confucianism, is often regarded as a collectivist culture, wherein individual desires are secondary, and obligations to parents, family, and society are paramount (Han 2008). Modernization theorists, such as William Goode (1970) have posited that socioeconomic modernization, such as that experienced within China over recent decades, will lead to more materialistic and, therefore, individualistic attitudes concerning sexual intimacy. Building upon this perspective, the developmental paradigm (Thornton 2001) provides another view of how attitudes concerning sexual intimacy may change. This paradigm posits that the modernization of societies leads to the modernization of social institutions, and particularly the family. Within most Western societies, the modernization which occurred after World War II brought about lower fertility rates, higher ages at first marriage, higher rates of divorce and remarriage, and an emphasis upon the nuclear form of the family (Thornton 2005). In a similar manner, China has experienced a decidedly high level of economic, social, and political change over recent decades. The developmental paradigm thus posits that modernization is linked with changes in attitudes concerning all facets of family life, including all processes associated with mate selection. Hence, modernization may lead young adults to seek greater individuality, greater social mobility, and greater freedom of individual expression (Cheung and Kwan 2009; Hewitt 2009; Qi 2014). Attitudes concerning sexual intimacy and expression are, undoubtedly, undergoing such change.

The gendered dimensions of such attitudes must also be recognized. For example, young men in search of a partner continue to emphasize the physical appearance of women, while young women tend to place a priority of the economic status of men (Piotrowski et al. 2016). These double standards in gender attitudes can often be compounded by parents. On the one hand, parents prefer that their adult children marry because of love (Xu et al. 2007), yet also maintain that women should be responsible for household labor and childrearing (Cook and Dong 2011). In matters of sexual behavior, the long-standing expectation for brides to be virgins remains (Pan 2004), in direct contrast to the more accepting attitudes concerning premarital sex. Indeed, Chinese surgeons frequently advertise such services as hymen repair and vaginal tightening (Steinmuller and Tan 2015). These expectations of virginity may leave young women more anxious about premarital sex, as compared to young men.

Within this context of changing cultural attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, the mechanics of establishing a dating relationship are also changing, and may be rather challenging for many young adults (Chan 2001). Only a few decades ago, a young adult who approached another, invited them out for dinner and dancing, with no family supervision, would have created a minor scandal. Today, however, such behaviors have become increasingly evident, as researchers have noted that young Chinese couples often hold hands in public, and kiss one another relatively early in their dating relationships (Yang 2011). College students, in particular, find themselves on the cusp of changes in sexual intimacy, and contemporary Chinese universities are often regarded as “love havens” (Xia and Zhou 2003). Interestingly, the attitudes of young adults toward sexual intimacy have been shown to be somewhat conservative, despite the higher levels of physical intimacy (Higgins et al. 2002). This seeming separation between attitudes and behaviors must be considered within the Chinese context, wherein a “dating culture” is still developing. A generational divide is another component which may exist, as while the majority of young women and men regard premarital sex as normative (Tang and Zuo 2000), older adults (i.e., the parental generation) view it as shameful (Wang and Davidson 2006; Whyte 1997). By examining such attitudes, a better understanding of sexual intimacy among young adults in China may be obtained.

Data and Methods

Data for this study was collected from students attending public universities in several large cities in China, with the collection occurring from 2015 through 2017. The sample is comprised of currently enrolled college students who were randomly invited to participate in an anonymous survey which focused on dating and romantic relationships among young adults. Of the students who were invited to participate, approximately 83% agreed and completed the survey. After the data was compiled, 48 cases were eliminated due to incomplete and/or missing responses, resulting in a final sample of 954 college students. Of these, 561 were female and 393 were male. The participants ranged in age from 18 to 22, single (never married), and were currently enrolled as undergraduate students.

The attitudes concerning sexual intimacy were assessed through the use of four different questions. In the first pair of questions, participants were asked how much they agreed or disagreed with the following statements: “I would kiss on a first date” and “I would be willing to have sex on a first date.” For each of these statements, the potential responses ranged from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree,” across a five-point scale, with a higher score indicating a greater willingness to engage in these behaviors on a first date. In order to obtain a broader assessment of these behaviors, participants were asked two additional questions: “After how many dates, with the same person, is it appropriate to kiss?” and “After how many dates, with the same person, is it appropriate to have sex?” These questions were open-ended, allowing respondents to indicate their specific answers. The combination of these four measures should provide a relatively accurate assessment of young adults’ attitudes concerning the initiation of sexual intimacy within relationships.

In order to assess the relative influence of familial and individual factors upon attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, a variety of measures were included. In regard to family characteristics, participants were queried about the highest level of educational attainment of their parents. For respondents with two parents, the higher of the two is used herein. Potential responses to this question ranged from: (1) “eighth grade or less,” (2) “beyond the 8th grade, but did not complete high school,” (3) “high school degree,” (4) “attended college, but did not finish degree,” (5) “four-year college degree,” to (6) “graduate or professional degree.” The number of residential parents, during the adolescent years of respondents, were also included. These responses were used to create a dummy measure of whether two parents were present in the home (coded as 1 = two parents, 0 = other than two parents). Maternal employment was also assessed, as respondents were queried as to whether their mother had been actively employed, during the respondents’ childhood and adolescent years (coded as 1 = yes, 0 = no). Due to the recent rise in divorce rates in China, respondents were asked to indicate if either (or both) of their parents had ever experienced a divorce (coded as 1 = yes, 0 = no). Respondents were also asked about the nature of their relationship with their parents. This was assessed with the question: “When you think about the relationship between you and your parent(s), how close to you feel to them?” Responses to this question ranged from: (1) “not close at all,” (2) “somewhat close,” (3) “fairly close,” to (4) “very close.”

A variety of respondents’ individual characteristics were also included in this study. Among these, respondents were asked how frequently they visited a place of worship (e.g., temple, church, shrine), with responses ranging from “never” to “once or more per week,” across a six-point scale. Respondents were asked to describe their grade performance in college, with responses ranging from (1) “less than D’s” to (8) “mostly A’s.” Respondents were also asked to a series of items concerning gender roles within the family context. Respondents were asked to respond to the following statements: (1) “it is much better for everyone if the man earns the main living and the woman takes care of the home and family,” (2) “both husbands and wives should contribute to family income,” (3) “a husband should spend just as many hours doing housework as his wife,” and (4) “the spouse who earns the most money should have the most say in family decisions.” Responses to each of these statements ranged from (1) “strongly agree” to (5) “strongly disagree.” An indexed measure was created from these responses (Cronbach’s alpha = .91) of traditional/conservative gender role attitudes, with a higher score indicating more traditional attitudes.

Given that initiation into sexual intimacy most likely occurs with the context of a dating or romantic relationship, additional measures concerning respondents’ dating attitudes and behaviors were included. Among these, respondents were asked about their willingness to date outside of their own social groups. Respondents were asked if, in terms of dating partners, they would be willing to date someone from: (1) “a different religion,” (2) “a different race or ethnicity,” and (3) “a different country.” These items were combined into a single measure, using the affirmative responses to create a scale (ranging from 0 to 3) of heterogamous dating (Cronbach’s alpha for this item was .88). Respondents were asked to respond to two items regarding dating and marriage aspirations. The participants were asked to respond to: “I would like to date more frequently than I do now,” and “I would like to get married someday.” For each of these items, responses ranged from: (1) “strongly disagree,” (2) “disagree,” (3) “unsure,” (4) “agree,” to (5) “strongly agree.” Respondents were also asked to indicate at what age they would like to become married. In order to assess how the characteristics of prospective partners might influence attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, respondents were asked to identify the specific traits they desired in a partner. A list of characteristics was given to the respondents, who then had to designate whether each trait was “not at all important” to “extremely important” (across a 7-point scale). Using these responses, three measures were created to indicate respondents’ preference for pragmatic qualities (well educated, wealthy, successful, and ambitious)(Cronbach’s alpha = .89), caring qualities (affectionate, loving, considerate, and kind)(Cronbach’s alpha = .90), and appearance qualities (sexy, neat, attractive, and well dressed)(Cronbach’s alpha = .86). Together, the measures of both familial and individual characteristics should reveal how each context may affect attitudes concerning sexual intimacy.

Given the extent of modernization in contemporary China and its potential impact upon familial influence, along with changing gender roles for young women, the following hypotheses are offered:

H1

Young males will express a greater desire for sexual intimacy, relative to young females.

H2

Individual factors will have a stronger impact upon young adults’ attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, relative to the influence of familial factors.

H3

Familial factors will have a stronger effect upon young women’s attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, as compared to that of young men.

Results

Table 1 presents the mean levels of sexual intimacy attitudes among young Chinese adults. As shown, there are substantial differences in the attitudes reported by young women and men. In regard to their willingness to kiss on a first date, males were significantly more likely to express this willingness, as compared to their female counterparts (3.24 vs. 2.62, respectively). Over 40% of males either strongly agreed or agreed with the willingness to kiss on a first date, while only 22.5% of females felt likewise. Indeed, over 41% of females either disagreed or strongly disagreed with this preference. Similarly, significantly more males reported the willingness to have sex on a first date, as compared to their female counterparts (2.71 vs. 1.85, respectively). Over 26% of males either agreed or strongly agreed with this form of sexual intimacy on a first date, while only 8.5% of females felt likewise. While males are clearly more willing to engage in kissing or sexual intercourse on a first date, as compared to females, it is also necessary to note that 42.6% of males were unwilling to have sex on a first date. This may suggest that traditional cultural expectations concerning sexual intimacy, particularly so early in a relationship, may still have a profound effect upon young adults.

Table 1 Mean levels of sexual intimacy initiation among young Chinese adults, by sex
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Young females and males were also asked for their attitudes concerning when, in the duration of dating someone, it would be appropriate to kiss and have sex. Once again, females were shown to be decidedly more conservative in their approach to sexual intimacy, as they preferred to wait significantly longer before kissing, as compared to the preferences of males. Females, on average, preferred to wait until after almost 13 dates before kissing, while males, on average, preferred to wait until after only 8 dates. A consistent pattern is shown in regard to their preferences for sexual intercourse, where young females again preferred to wait longer than males. Females, on average, preferred to wait until after 28 dates before having sex, while the male preferences was approximately one-half of that (i.e., about 14 dates). Clearly, the attitudes and preferences of young females and males are substantially distinct.

Table 2 presents the mean levels of family and individual characteristics among young Chinese adults. As shown, there are relatively few differences between females and males in regard to their respective family traits. Parents, on average, were well-educated, while approximately four out of five respondents had two parents at home, and only about one out of six parents had gone through a divorce. The mothers of females were slightly more likely to be employed (84%), as compared to mothers of males (78%). Both females and males expressed that they felt quite close to their parents, which is to be expected within traditional cultural standards of Chinese families.

Table 2 Mean levels of family and individual characteristics among young Chinese adults, by sex
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In regard to their individual characteristics, both females and males seem somewhat reserved in their respective desires for heterogamous relationships. Females and males were quite distinct, however, in terms of their willingness to date or marry without parental approval. Males were significantly more likely to date without parental approval (46%), as compared to females (35%). Males were also much more likely to marry without parental approval, than were females (34% vs. 21%). These differences suggest that males are more willing to go against their parents’ wishes, but it is also important to note that only a minority of both sexes are willing to do so. Both sexes were seemingly eager to date more frequently, yet their desire to marry was decidedly lower. Given that the average age of the sample is only 21 years, these differences are certainly understandable. The young adults in the sample did differ slightly in their desired ages at marriage, with females expressing a preference for marrying at a younger age than males (26.7 years vs. 27.8 years).

Males reported a somewhat more conservative set of gender attitudes, as compared to females (2.78 vs. 2.37, respectively). This difference may have implications for their beliefs and preferences concerning physical intimacy. The respective qualities which each sex desired in a future partner were also distinct. Females placed a greater premium upon pragmatic qualities (such as being successful and wealthy), as compared to the preferences of males. Similarly, females also placed a greater emphasis upon caring qualities (such as being kind and loving), as compared to males. Interestingly, there was no significant difference in the preferences of females and males for the appearance of a future partner. How these familial and individual characteristics may affect young adults’ willingness to engage in physical intimacy will now be examined.

Table 3 presents the OLS regression models of young adults’ willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date. Additional regression models were conducted (not shown) in order to assess the statistical validity of using separate models for females and males, and such validity was confirmed. The models yield a substantial amount of explained variance, with r-squares ranging from .088 to .219. As shown, parental educational attainment is positively associated with both the willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date among females (b = .111 and .098, respectively). While it is plausible that higher levels of parental educational attainment may be associated with a more progressive set of parental attitudes concerning physical intimacy, it is also necessary to note that the same associations are not significant in the regression models for males. Among females, the presence of two parents was also positively associated with the willingness to have sex on a first date (b = .260). While this association seems counterintuitive, females’ closeness to their parents was shown to be negatively linked with the willingness to have sex on a first date (b = − .112). This effect may be related to daughters’ adherence to parental expectations, but may also be related to parental monitoring of daughters. Once again, though, this effect is not shown to be significant in the same model for males.

Table 3 Ordinary least squares regression models of young Chinese adults’ willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date, by sex
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Among males, the frequency of visitation to a place of worship is positively associated with their willingness to both kiss and have sex on a first date (b = .123 and .099, respectively). While the majority of respondents are Buddhist, its contemporary edicts do not expressively forbid the pursuit of physical intimacy, thus leaving its influence open to individual interpretation. It is quite interesting that these associations are significant among males, yet do not yield significant effects among females. The willingness of males to kiss and have sex on a first date is also positively associated with their desire for heterogamous relationships (b = .213 and .156, respectively). This may reflect a more progressive set of beliefs among males, at least in terms of being open to the possibility of a heterogamous relationship, as compared to females.

Among females, their willingness to marry without parental approval is strongly associated with a greater willingness to both kiss and have sex on a first date (b = .386 and .485). This is also suggestive of a more progressive attitude, as going against the wishes of parents is not consistent with traditional expectations among Chinese families. However, this effect is not significant among males, suggesting that they are not as willing to go against their parents, at least in terms of pursuing physical intimacy in a dating relationship. The desire to marry is shown to yield positive associations among females and males, both in terms of kissing and having sex on a first date. The consistency of these associations across the female and males models is perhaps indicative of more individualistic aspiration among Chinese young adults. The gender attitudes of young women and men are also shown to be significantly associated with their willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date. Among females, more traditional gender attitudes are linked with a greater willingness to have sex on a first date (b = .247), while among males, such traditional gender attitudes are positively linked with both kissing and having sex on a first date (b = .193 and .202, respectively). Within the context of Chinese culture, these associations are quite understandable, as these behaviors are directly linked to the marital roles of women and men.

Among females, higher grade performance is associated with a greater willingness to both kiss and have sex on a first date (b = .102 and .168, respectively). Females who perform well in college may already have more progressive attitudes concerning women’s roles, and thus may view physical intimacy in a more progressive manner, as well. The characteristics desired in a future partner also yielded several significant associations. Among females, a greater desire for caring qualities (e.g., being loving and kind) was negatively associated with their willingness to have sex on a first date, while among males, the desire for caring qualities was negatively associated with both their willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date. Here, the more modern perceptions of love and romance may be present, such that individuals may be placing a greater emphasis upon the emotional dimensions of their dating relationships, rather than the physical dimensions. However, the desire for appearance qualities (e.g., being sexy, attractive) is positively associate with females’ willingness to have sex on a first date (b = .162), and is positively associated with males’ willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date (b = .274 and .178, respectively). In this instance, young adults who place a greater emphasis upon the physical qualities of their dating partners may likely emphasize the physical pleasures of their dating relationships, as well.

Table 4 presents the OLS regression models of the number of dates considered necessary before being willing to kiss and have sexual intercourse. As shown in the models for females, higher levels of parental educational attainment are negatively associated with the timing of both kissing and having sex (b = − 2.546 and − 4.498, respectively). However, the presence of two parents in the home is positively associated with females’ preferences for the timing of kissing and having sex (b = 6.654 and 11.529, respectively). Similarly, maternal employment was also positively associated with females’ timing of kissing and having sex. Hence, the presence of two parents, along with maternal employment, are linked with a longer preference for relationships prior to physical intimacy, among females. Among males, parental educational attainment is again negatively associated with their preferences of the timing of kissing and having sex (b = − 1.959 and − 1.974, respectively). The comparatively strong influence of parental educational attainment may be related to both more progressive attitudes concerning physical intimacy, as well as social class distinctions concerning the same. Maternal employment and the presence of two parents do not significantly affect the preferences of males for the timing of physical intimacy.

Table 4 Ordinary least squares regression models of number of dates necessary before young Chinese adults are willing to kiss and have sex, by sex
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Interestingly, the frequency of visiting places of worship is positively associated with female’s preference for the timing of kissing (b = 1.984). Give the influence of religiosity shown among males in regard to their willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date, these findings suggest that religion is having a salient impact upon the preferences for physical intimacy among young Chinese adults. The relative influence of the desire to date more frequently was shown to affect females and males in a very similar manner, as higher desires to date were shown to be associated with significantly earlier preferences for both kissing and having sex. Obviously, the desire to date is strong among both females and males, and these desires may, understandably, be directly linked to their desires for physical intimacy. Among males, however, the desire to marry is shown to be positively associated with their preferences concerning the timing of kissing and having sex in a dating relationship (b = 2.151 and 2.238, respectively). For males, then, the desire to marry may lead them to want to delay physical intimacy within their dating relationships, perhaps with a greater focus upon the longer-term goal of marriage, itself. Oddly, this same pattern is not shown to be significant among females, suggesting that the two sexes approach this issue from distinct perspectives. Among females, the desire for an older age at marriage appears to be linked with a shorter timing for the preferences concerning having sex in a dating relationship (b = − 1.240). Hence, for females, those preferring a younger age at first marriage are more likely to engage in sexual intercourse at a later point within their dating relationships, while those preferring an older age at first marriage are more likely to engage in sex at an earlier stage in dating. Clearly, the gendered nature of physical intimacy and dating relationships is rather complex. The implications of these findings will now be discussed.

Discussion and Conclusions

This study was initiated with the objective of examining attitudes concerning sexual intimacy among young adults in China. Over the past half of a century, China has undergone tremendous social, economic, and political changes, all of which have affected its culture. This is particularly evident in terms of sexual intimacy, as many behaviors which were previously considered shameful or even taboo, such as premarital intercourse, are now relatively common and no longer evoke a strong negative response. The steady movement of modernization in China has been noted as affecting a wide variety of attitudes, and certainly those concerning sexual intimacy have been influenced by these processes.

Overall, the attitudes of young women and men suggest that they are open to the possibilities of sexual intimacy, yet their attitudes also indicate a certain degree of hesitation concerning the same. In terms of kissing on a first date, substantially more males believed that this was something which they were willing to do, as compared to their female counterparts. Indeed, more males were willing to kiss on a first date, as compared to those who were unwilling. Among females, though, substantially more expressed an unwillingness to kiss on a first date, while less than one out of four was willing to do so. Not surprisingly, males reported a greater willingness to have sex on a first date, as compared to females. While approximately one out of four males were willing to have sex on a first date, less than one out of ten females were willing to do likewise. In addition, substantially more males were unwilling to have sex on a first date, as compared to those who were willing to do so. These patterns lend support to the first hypothesis, as males appear to express a substantially greater desire for sexual intimacy.

Attitudes concerning the timing of sexual intimacy were also examined, with males again being shown to be more eager than females to engage in physical intimacy. Females, on average, felt that kissing was appropriate after almost 13 dates, while males believed that an average of 8 dates was sufficient. Understandably, attitudes concerning the appropriate timing of sexual intercourse were even more reserved. Females stated that an average of 28 dates, with the same person, were necessary before sexual intercourse should occur. Among males, less than half that amount of time (approximately 14 dates) was deemed appropriate. Hence, males are shown to be more eager to both kiss and have sexual intercourse within a dating relationship, as compared to females, and are also shown to desire these forms of physical intimacy at an earlier point in the dating relationship. These differences certainly suggest that a strong divide exists between the sexual intimacy attitudes of young females and males.

The multivariate analyses revealed several intriguing patterns concerning young adults’ attitudes concerning kissing and having sex on a first date. While the attitudes of females were influenced by a combination of both familial and individual characteristics, the attitudes of males were seemingly unaffected by familial factors. Given the strong preference of Chinese parents for sons, this difference is rather striking, as it suggests that parental influence is simply not as influential for sons, as it may be for daughters. Among females, higher levels of parental educational attainment, along with the presence of two parents, were associated with a greater willingness to engage in physical intimacy. In contrast, though, females’ willingness to marry without parental approval was significantly linked with a greater willingness to both kiss and have sex on a first date. The influence of future marriage was also evident among both sexes, as a greater desire to marry was similarly linked with a greater willingness to kiss and have sex on a first date, among women and men. The expectations for marriage are quite strong in Chinese culture, and these societal expectations may be affecting young adults’ attitudes concerning sexual intimacy in both direct and indirect manners. Among females, the desire marry, and particularly when coupled with the willingness to do so without parental approval, underscores the presence and influence of these marital expectations.

At the same time, however, the partner qualities sought by females and males reveal yet another indication of how young adults may be taking a more individualist approach to sexual intimacy. The desire for a partner with caring qualities (e.g., loving, sensitive) was associated with a lower willingness to have sex on a first date for both females and males, and was also associated a lower willingness to kiss on a first date among males. By contrast, the desire for appearance qualities (e.g., sexy, well-dressed) in a partner was associated with a greater willingness to engage in sexual intimacy. While these associations do suggest that individual preferences play a salient role in the sexual intimacy preferences of young adults, they must also be viewed within the larger context of modernization. Among young males, these individual factors clearly appear to supercede familial factors, at least in terms of their sexual intimacy preferences on first dates. Overall, these patterns support the second hypothesis, as individual factors do appear to have a stronger impact upon young adults’ attitudes concerning sexual intimacy.

In terms of attitudes concerning the number of dates necessary before kissing or having sexual intercourse, a somewhat different pattern of influencing factors was evident. Among females and males, higher levels of parental educational attainment were associated with a lower number of dates before the initiation of sexual intimacy. This raises several possible explanations, as parental educational attainment may be linked with both family income and more progressive attitudes concerning sexual intimacy. It is conceivable that higher levels of family income may provide the financial support for young adults to date. After all, a typical date involving dinner and a movie can be quite costly, in terms of money. More financial ability to date may eventually lead to more dating, and thus more opportunities to engage in sexual intimacy. However, among females, the presence of two parents, along with maternal employment, was associated with a greater number of desired dates before they were willing to kiss and/or have sexual intercourse. The same effects were not significant among males, which again suggests that the relationship dynamics between parents and daughters is decidedly distinct from that between parents and sons, at least in terms of their attitudes concerning sexual intimacy. These findings also seem to support the third hypothesis, as familial factors appear to have a more substantial association with young women’s attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, as compared to those of young men. For both female and males, though, individual factors were also influential, as the desire to date more frequently was associated with a lower number of desired dates before engaging in sexual intimacy. While it is tempting to suggest that a clear distinction exists between the influence of familial and individual factors, it is, nonetheless, necessary to recognize that much of the individual traits of young females and males developed largely within the familial context.

This exploratory study was intended to provide a greater understanding of the attitudes concerning sexual intimacy among young adults in China. It is reasonable to assert that these attitudes, like many facets of Chinese society, have undergone, and continue to undergo, change. The assertion of the developmental paradigm is that societal institutions, such as the family, will undergo change as the surrounding society modernizes. Young adults in China are clearly caught within these changes, and may find themselves in a cultural bind, wherein they sincerely wish to conform to the wishes of their parents, yet also desire to explore their newfound autonomy and independence. It is quite possible that parental control over dating and, specifically, sexual intimacy, may decrease as the younger generation increasingly embraces more modernized attitudes and ideologies. While this may be disconcerting to parents, these changing patterns of sexual intimacy are just another part of the cultural changes occurring in contemporary China. It is certainly normative for young adults to seek greater individuation, and their involvement in romantic relationships is equally normative for youth. Given that these findings focus upon the attitudes concerning sexual intimacy among young adults, future studies should attempt to examine the parental side of these patterns. In particular, focus should be given to how Chinese parents perceive these changes, and how their respective ideologies and behaviors may be affected. Filial piety and parental authority have always been at the core of families, and a shift towards more modernized or progressive attitudes about sexual intimacy may represent a considerable challenge with which parents must cope. In addition, future research should attempt to more precisely assess sexual behaviors, as well as sexual orientation, among young adults in China.