Process Versus Content

Abstract

Skilled negotiators study the process of negotiation, and they rely more on the process to be successful. But what is the process of negotiation?

There’s a way to it.

It’s not what you ask but how you ask that’s important.

Low, Kim Cheng Patrick

One kind word can warm three winter months.

Japanese proverb

4.1 The Process of Negotiation

Science is the process that takes us from confusion to understanding…—Brian Greene

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.—Alan Watts

A threatened victim often admittedly said, “I’m afraid. It’s not the content of what he (the bully) said. But I’m scared of the way he said it”.

Skilled negotiators study the process of negotiation, and they rely more on the process to be successful. But what is the process of negotiation?

The process of negotiation is the way we manage our negotiation with the other party (OP). It is concerned with the how:

Are we prepared? How well are we prepared?

(Remember this axiom: “Bad things might happen, so be prepared” and we can phrase it as “Bad negotiation things might happen, so be prepared”).

How do we start or open the negotiation?

How do we go about the negotiation?

What do we do during negotiations?

Do we ask questions?

If so, what questions should we ask?

Do we, at times, pause for effect?

Do we effectively use silence during the course of the negotiation?

Do we apply tactics?

How do we answer the OP’s questions?

How do we not answer the OP’s questions?

Do we listen? And how well do we listen to our OP?

At the close of the negotiation, do we make our OP feel good?

And in what ways do we make our OP feel good?

Skilled negotiators ask many questions

Ask, ask and ask!

Here, we manage the negotiation climate by asking questions, using the right words, listening, using time and timing as well as applying the various processes such as delivery of the messages and various other ways (Fig. 4.1).

Fig. 4.1

Highlights managing the negotiation climate through

4.1.1 Skilled Negotiators Ask More Questions Than Unskilled Negotiators

Part of being successful is about asking questions and listening to the answers.—Anne Burrell

How many of us ask questions? Asking questions too is a process skill that not many possess. Instead people often like to make statements or tell (sentences).

It is critical to bear in mind that skilled negotiators pose more questions than unskilled negotiators. Unskilled negotiators make more statements than skilled negotiators. Don’t tell, ask!

Some of us were taught as children not to ask for anything until it was offered. Well, this may have won you points with your primary school teacher, but it will kill you in the real world. We usually have to ask, learn to ask and work on asking and asking well.

The use of questions can be a very powerful negotiation tool. Asking questions is part of the negotiation process, as well as one of the key negotiation skills. Skilled negotiators think and plan the questions they need to ask. They listen and use their OP’s responses as a resource to guide the negotiation.

• 1. Questions Serve as Icebreakers

  In the first place, questions serve as icebreakers and help to create rapport with the OP.

  “How are you?”

  “How was the transport to get here?”

  “How did you manage to find the place?”

  “How was it? Was it easy to find the meeting place?”

  These questions are good icebreakers.

• 2. Questions Help the OP To Feel at Ease

  The OP feels at ease as the negotiators pose their questions. Besides, the OP feels consulted; his or her views are sought after. Also, look at the interests/ needs of the OP.

  “What do you think of…?”

  “What do you like? C, D or E?”

  “What’s your preference: plan A or plan B?”

  “What are your views on…?”

  The questions posed also stimulate thinking and discussion by the OP (Fig. 4.2).

Fig. 4.2

Begin with one’s heart; look into one’s own heart, and also into the needs of the OP

• 3. Questions Help Parties To Obtain or Exchange Information

  By asking questions too, both parties can get or exchange information.

  “What are your suggestions about…?”

  “Given the case, what would you do?”

  “How can we solve this problem?”

  “How do you think we should proceed?”

  Through the use of questions too, negotiators can ascertain facts from their own side as well as from the OP.

• 4. Questions Challenge Assumptions

  When we assume, we might miss out on things. We can perhaps take things for granted. But when we apply questions, we are challenging the assumptions. Examples here include:

  “We will arrive on time”.

  “Suppose we do not arrive on time?” or “What would happen if we did not arrive on time?”

  “No one should be late”.

  “What would happen if we were late?”

• 5. Questions Confirm Understanding Between Parties

  Questions also help to confirm understanding between parties. Questions enable us to know and understand the needs of the OP better.

  If we don’t ask, we don’t know. And when we don’t know, how can we mutually help each other?

• 6. Questions Help To Clarify Things

  Questions enable you to probe a situation or a response to ensure you have understood correctly. In doing so, you reassure yourself that what the OP has said is important enough to be properly understood.

  Asking questions also helps to clarify details. These include, for example:

  “How much money is needed for the joint venture project?”

  “What do you mean when you say...?”

  “Could you explain that a little bit more?”

  “In what way(s)…?”

  Asking questions to clarify or amplify what the OP has said is the most effective way of both delaying a response on your part and of obtaining more information upon which to base your ultimate response.

• 7. Questions Draw Out Options and Suggestions

  Questions are less restrictive. They create choices. When we as negotiators pose (open-ended) questions, options or alternatives become available.

  “How could we improve…?”

  “What if…?”

  “Suppose we were to…?”

  “What do you think about…?”

  On the other hand, when we make statements, options are restricted. Unlike questions, statements are narrower or more restrictive.

• 8. Questions Stimulate Thinking

  Questions can be used to stimulate one’s own thinking as well as that of the OP/others. Examples include:

  “What if we were to introduce a new discount system?”

  “Is it possible to adopt another method or way?”

  “What if we were to use a different route? Would it be shorter?”

• 9. Questions Secure Commitment

  When summarising or consolidating, attempting to come to an agreement, one finds that questions are often more acceptable than naked statements or demands. Normally, people use questions as a polite way of making requests and suggestions. “Will you do me a favour by lending me your pen?” is not likely to be answered with, “No, I will not.” It is more acceptable than “Pass your pen to me”. For example:

  “Do you agree that in this case we should take joint action?”

  “So you are okay? You are happy to do this if I agree to do that?”

  Interestingly, the latter question is not actually a question but rather it is a statement turned into a question by the tone of one’s voice.

• 10. Questions Ask for Feedback

  It’s helpful to ask questions to get feedback about what one has said or done, and these include (Fig. 4.3):

  “What was your opinion when I said…?”

  “Are you satisfied with…?”

  “How do you view it?”

Fig. 4.3

Cooperative way(s) of asking the OP feedback or questions

• 11. Questions Make the OP Feel Good

  There is nothing like showing the OP that you are truly interested in what he or she has to say, to achieve a degree of rapport. It is not manipulative or deceitful to want the OP to feel that he or she is getting the best result possible out of the interaction between you. It is, in fact, proper consideration for the OP.

• 12. Questions Get Parties Out of a Deadlock or a Stalemate Situation

  Questions can be posed to get one out of a negotiation deadlock or a stalemate situation. Examples of such questions include:

  “What if we brainstorm on how to resolve this problem?”

  “Would it be good… suppose we can suggest various options or solutions?”

• 13. Questions Keep the Discussions Going

  You can use questions to keep the discussion positive and focused on the interests of both parties and the desired outcome, rather than on the positions adopted by either side.

4.1.2 Apply the Power of Questions

Better ask twice than go wrong once.—Anonymous

• 1. Ask Open-Ended Questions

  Use the five Ws and the one H: the what, who, where, when, why and how. Examples include:

  “How do you see the Chinese market developing in the next 2 years?”

  Open-ended questions do not permit a simple yes or no answer. They are asked in a way that the reply must be expressed in terms of an explanation, fact or opinion. They are your most faithful tools of the trade and when properly used will reveal a treasure trove of information.

• 2. Ask Reflective or Mirror Questions

  These are used to reflect or restate to the other person that you have heard and understood what has been said and invite the disclosure of additional information.

  “So, you agree that…?”

  “Are you saying that…?”

  “So, you feel that…?”

• 3. Ask Closed Questions

  These questions are used to seek confirmation. They involve yes or no answers. Examples include:

  “Are you happy with that idea?”

  “Can the assembly section reach that productivity goal by August?”

• 4. Ask Hypothetical Questions

  Such questions are used as a way of probing and exploring options without locking either side into commitments. They can also be used to float an idea or test the OP’s reactions. Some examples are:

  “If the workers could raise output by 10% in 2 months, what type of reward would you consider then?”

  “Would you consider working for us temporarily?”

  “Have you ever thought of upgrading yourself, moving into management?”

• 5. A Straightforward Probe

  This can be disarmingly frank. It is very upfront and interestingly, you might just get the answers. Examples include:

  “How can I best satisfy your needs?”

  “What do you want from this negotiation?”

• 6. Ask Back-On-Track Questions

  These questions are useful for politely shifting the debate to the agenda.

  Examples include:

  “John, can we apply the same insight you have shown for the overtime question to the new employee-recommendation incentive issue?”

  “Jerry, How would you explain further what you said earlier, that is the issue of earning straight commission?”

• 7. Ask Testing Questions

  Such a question is one for which you already know the answer: you are just trying to test OP’s competence and/or honesty. For example, “What were the type C8 production figures last quarter?”

4.1.3 How To Answer the OP’s Questions

Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.—Chanakya

To be well prepared is to be well armed. Have your answers ready.

First, we need to think first. And think again before responding. And understand why the OP is asking the question. A blurted, un-thought-through answer can jeopardise many a negotiation.

We may or may not answer whatever questions are posed to us by the OP. It all depends on what we want, our outcome. However, we do need to turn down the OP’s questions politely and cooperatively.

We may want to answer the OP’s question later. Ask the OP to repeat the question, Use: “I don’t understand your question”, “Please repeat the question” or “I don’t get your question”. Or pinpoint other areas that need to be tackled first.

We can also answer partially, just answer part of the OP’s question. If we have limited knowledge or a limited idea of the issue concerned, we can say, “I don’t have the entire picture/story but…” or “I’m guessing that….”

I believe that our most powerful answer is the truth. A truthful answer puts us in a strong position. Besides, it sets the ground rule that both parties are expected to always tell the truth. We can then work well together.

4.1.4 Apply the Pause Button

Take Five or Time To Take Stock

Pause, think and reflect. We need to press the Pause Button.

At most times, we need to press this button to look at things, keeping an emotional distance during high-stress times—whether at home or at work, anywhere you need a little breathing space. It can be to think clearly, reflect or take stock.

This pause, or comma, is basically putting the negotiation on hold for a few minutes to an hour or even days/weeks, so that meanwhile you can sort things out!

The pause can be to:

^lPrepare/plan: Do I need any further bits of information?

^lClarify/gather thoughts: Am I thinking clearly? Am I clear on this ___?

^lEnable you to see the overview, taking a helicopter view of the negotiation held so far and managing the negotiation atmosphere to make it more cooperative.

^lFind out more: What is it that the OP really wants?

^lSet limits: Am I clear about the limits set?

^lKnow when to close: Do I get what I want? Go for the close?

These pauses are pretty powerful and indeed silence can be golden. You don’t win by dominating the conversation. Silence can be a weapon. There may be times you’ll want to let the OPs just keep talking. Let them talk. Listen and listen well! They may reveal some information you may not have got if you had interrupted. After all, “the less is said, the more is heard!”

You can use this pause or silence to plan your next strategy or move. Besides, by being silent you are not committing yourself to any position, and you show yourself to be deliberate, not rash.

4.1.5 Apply Positive or Cooperative Words

I like good strong words that mean something.—Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

You are precisely as big as what you love and preciselyas small as what you allow to annoy you.—Robert Anton Wilson

It is said that every tomorrow, future or any (negotiation) event has two levers. We can take grip of it with the lever of fear, worry and anxiety or the lever of strength, confidence and faith. The latter is more positive. And we can always move the negotiation forward. When there is a contentious negotiation, successful negotiators bring it forward by their positive thinking attitude, the use of cooperative words and positive actions.

Rumi spoke of words as such: “Raise your word, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder”.

And SKILLED NEGOTIATORS MAKE FULL USE OF WORDS.

Unskilled negotiators flounder. A staff may say, “Oh, I have done the report and submit to the Vice-President”. And the Manager curtly replied, “So?” or “Of course, that should be done!” This is certainly a conversational stopper and killer; and such words would prevent the OP (in this case, the staff) from volunteering further information to the Manager. Words must be soothing and (re)assuring enough to encourage the OP to contribute and share more information with the Manager.

We all know that What’s App is a personal comms. in which we relate to each other in a personal and friendly way. Many a times, I may be relating issues or messages close and personal; and there I get these messages: “Noted”; and/or “noted with thanks”. And the word “noted” is so uppity and not so friendly—that’s my perception and what’s yours? The receiver can, in fact, just say, “Thanks for sharing these with me” and even a simple “thanks” is warm enough when relating with each other.

Even words in some company slogans (catchy words or catchphrases words combined in a unique way to identify the Company’s products or services) can indeed be likable, enticing and appealing to both its prospects, customers and others. Ordinarily, the words used in slogans are simple and memorable. And they differentiate the brand, giving positive feelings associated with the Company, the brand and its products.

Other examples include: M&M: “Melts in Your Mouth, Not in Your Hands”, Nike: “There is No Finish Line”./“Just Do It”. and “General Electric: “Imagination at Work”. And Deliveroo in Singapore boasts of its “Vast & Fast” delivery of food services (circa June 2019) and Channel News Asia speaks of “We cover Asia for the world”. Interestingly, the latter slogan also enhances the positioning of the News Channel. And Europcar speaks of “Moving Your Way”.

Applying charming words, in cosmetics and particularly in lipsticks, Sephora presents Charlotte Tilbury’s “makeup artist to the stars”, “Lipstick is happiness in a tube!” And indeed how gorgeous they are.

I also love, for example the old slogans of Guinness; and one of them is my favourite, it is: “My Goodness, My Guinness” which, as added on its ads, is very attractive and appealing.

Because of their positive thinking attitude, they capitalise on positive or cooperative (appealing) words to persuade and influence the OP/others.

One doesn’t make a phone call to one’s boss to let him know that “I would like to negotiate with you about my salaries and bonuses”. Rather one would say, “I would like to discuss with you on some important matters pertaining to my career here with the company”. Or one may put it in another way, that is “I have something important to talk to you about my career”.

Successful leaders and managers don’t tell their people that they face problems but rather they face challenges. They don’t use the word “problem(s)”—they instead use such words such as “challenges”. And instead of using the words “burden”; “liability”, they apply words such as “opportunities”, “chances” and “prospects”.

One has to choose one’s words carefully or be conscious of the words applied when dealing with the OP and/or others. When one uses words—and if they are positive, they can encourage (assure/hearten/ cheer) others, or—when they are negative, they can discourage or dishearten others.

Second-hand goods companies sell “pre-owned” or “pre-loved” cars, products instead of second-hand goods; the latter sounds “unwanted”, “cast-off”, “dated”, “old” or “used”. And second-hand branded or luxury cars are sold as “Premium pre-owned” or “Vintage (cars)”.

One newspaper vending machine runs an ad or taglines, urging its customers to “fill up your mind” and “enjoy your read”.

Dates sellers claim that their dates are “date-licious”. And to attract vegetarians and other diners to dine in their restaurants, these restaurants and even food manufacturers would use these words, claiming or saying that their food are “nutritious”, “nothing artificial” or “all-natural”, “low-sugar”, “protein-rich”, “fibre-rich” and “fat-free” or that it contains no “trans-fat”.

And instead of saying “bland”, “tasteless” or “without sugar”, some drink manufacturers and sellers use these words “refreshingly unsweetened; having a delightful Jasmine scent” to highlight their tea drink range. And when the drinks are sweet, the same drink manufacturer too says in its ad that, “Flora Aroma. Lingering Sweetness”. Such lovely words deployed.

I am not lazy; yes, she is not lazy. It is just that I have unhurried charms; and she has plenty of it too!

Most, if not all of us, certainly do not like to hear negative words. Negative words can have a wet blanket effect and they may discourage or have a dampening, stifling effect on OP/others.

During the Covid 19 virus pandemic period (then, circa March/April 2010), “quarantine” becomes a harsh, if not an offensive word, more so when one is “quarantined”. And yes, the proper term is “socially distanced”. Then again, “social distancing” seems boring while “moving deeper into the realm of the greater good and safety” sounds much more interesting or appealing.

In fact, a new word also emerges:

“Don’t be a covidiot, a noun:

• 1. a stupid person who stubbornly ignores ‘social distancing’ protocol, thus helping to further spread COVID-19.

  ‘Are you seriously going to visit grandma?

  Dude, don’t be such a covidiot.’

• 2. a stupid person who hoards groceries, needlessly spreading COVID-19 fears and depriving others of vital supplies.

  ‘See that guy with the 200 toilet paper rolls?

  What a covidiot.’” (Curejoy 2020)

  Another important thing is that most of us certainly do not like to hear the word, “No”! Nobody likes to hear “No”! In fact, “No” is the ultimate negative word to hear in negotiation! We would much prefer to hear “Yes”! Of course, “Yes” is a sweet word!

  All of us hold the key. And it is indeed important to always choose one’s words wisely, but it’s especially vital when one is doing affirmations [One should really use one’s words to accurately portray exactly the results or outcomes one intends to achieve.]. One’s words are taken literally by one’s mind.

  You are what you think!

  Yes, positive words too can be a mood booster not only to oneself, but also to the OP and others. If one needs to boost one’s OP/ friend’s moods (disposition), one can help by complimenting one’s OP/friends. Generally speaking, one needs to just be more positive. Well this pointer can really help! Words can do a whole lot so apply the examples and think on for more positive words that will surely brighten one’s OP/others’ (and even one’s own) day! (Fig. 4.4).

Fig. 4.4

Positive words such as compliments can boost the OP’s moods

We need to use positive words to touch base, connect and build common ground with the OP, keep the discussion going in a cool, cooperative and collaborative climate. If your staff tells you, “Well, we would like to try your idea, but we tried it previously and it didn’t work!”, to persuade your staff to build on your idea, pick the positive aspects of their arguments and build on them till both of you develop common ground. It is easier than to discuss things. Your response should be “What did you specifically try previously?”, “What would you like to try (do)?” or “What can we do to make the idea work?”

4.1.5.1 More on the Power of Words

There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry.—Matt Lauer

A tongue 3 inches long can kill Man feet tall.—Chinese Sage

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.—Audrey Hepburn

These are good quotes to remember when talking or discussing about words: “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” said Rudyard Kipling.

A successful negotiator’s word is the power that (s)he has to create; something positive and it is (becomes) a gift to the OP and to the others in whom (s)he seeks to influence or persuade (Fig. 4.5).

Fig. 4.5

Highlights positive words vis-à-vis negative words

Your words certainly have power; use them wisely. Lori Handeland, in Crave the Moon highlighted these: “Words have power,” Isaac answered. Words begin and end wars. They create and destroy families. They break hearts. They heal them. If you have the right words, there’s nothin’ on earth you can’t do”, as highlighted by

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.” said Aldous Huxley, Brave New World.

Words can indeed transform our lives. Say “can” and “We can do it!” Say, “We cannot do it”, then “It becomes a reality!” That’s why Malaysia adopts the slogan “Malaysia Boleh!” meaning, “Malaysia Can!”. Say “It’s easy”, and it becomes easy, but if we say, “It’s difficult!”, Then surely so, it becomes difficult to do. Say, “It is possible”, it becomes so. Or say, “It’s impossible”, it becomes a challenge and one may not be able to do or accomplish it!

One can also verbalise one’s thoughts through one’s words. But do note that one’s words are like weapons or arrows. And like arrows, one’s words can indeed be very piercing and indeed hurting to the Other Party (OP). Do avoid negative words, or words that can hurt the OP and others. A supervisor can say, “You are always lazy, not working hard”. The word “always” is vague or not clear (one of 100 times or 1 out of 5 times; what is the frequency of the occurrence or evidence of ‘being lazy, idling or not working’); and it is negative and even offensive to the other party as in this case to the said employee.

One can be specific and be clear in the use of one’s words; for example one can say, “I notice you tend to want to relax after your mealtime on certain days say like 3 out of 5 days”.

Once the words are out or released, they strike their mark, and they can be sharp and piercing. Yes, do guard them well and fire them carefully! One needs to learn how to select one’s thoughts just the same way one selects one’s clothes each day.

If, one can start to consciously choose one’s thoughts and the words one says, one can and will change one’s negotiation ways and even one’s life for the better.

Interestingly, Singapore’s Land Transport Authority (LTA) has a catchy tagline: “We keep your world moving”. And when it comes to sales and promotions, some companies speak of, “raining discounts and deals”.

And one newspapers’ vending machine has this noteworthy tagline, “The best antibiotic against fake news”.

Some product promotions speak of and apply words such as “Private Sale” or “Special Promotions” to give the air of exclusivity, selectness and uniqueness. And in terms of food dishes, restaurants and chefs have to attract and appeal prospects and customers by the power of words. They use words such as “Special”, “Select” or “Exclusive for V.I.P.s”.

A certain milk powder company thus appealed to its target audience as “(being) the science of mother” and its product’s “(being) scientifically formulated for immunity support”.

What makes one hungry? Some words always make one salivate. What are those words? Certain words such as “slow-cooked”, “pull-apart”, “juicy”, “crispy”, “tender” and “served with creamy coconut milk” when describing meats, chips and other foods can really make some people hungry and/or wanting to eat. And some people prefer the word “piping hot”; for them, food has to be hot when served; not many like cold rice or cold dishes.

To persuade customers to buy their products, some bakeries, confectioneries and delicatessens apply exotic and fancy names (words) to their breads and buns, and these include names and words such as Hokkaido Blueberry or Raisin Baguette, Lemon Muffin, Garlic Gold Bar and Custard Cornet.

One vet clinic highlights to its prospects and customers that it has “a Purrfect Woof Clinic”, especially in taking care of the health and well-being of cats and dogs.

And interestingly, one Malaysian café in its advertisements spoke of its coffee as “(having) strong aroma”, “bold flavour” and “for EXTR RICH pause-able moments”.

Next, we will discuss more on words in terms of the Confucian terms (words) and/or human resources management context. Of interest here and of Confucian origin, one Chinese proverb speaks of “The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names”. The Confucians speak of the Rectification of Names.

The power of words too can be taken as one way to control or manage the negotiation climate, more so the “feel good” moods of the other party (OP) in the negotiation setting and the negotiator then use the appropriate and suitable words (Low 2010). A teacher is to be addressed as a teacher; and a manager is called a manager while an Assistant manager is addressed as an Assistant manager. Here, there should not be a confusion of terms, words or positions. Calling by the right names (terms) can also be rightly interpreted as being polite, respecting and addressing the other party by his or her job title and appointment, making him feel important and according to him or her the appropriate and necessary role(s), particularly so, when one first gets to know the OP. It is good to establish or get the relationships right at the very first meeting.

Interestingly, the Emergency Response Team of the Singapore Police Force (around 2018) is referred to as the Defenders in its recruitment promotional ads—“When terror strikes, the Emergency Response Team fights back. Specially trained in counter-assault skills to swiftly to neutralize terror threats, they are defenders of our peace and way of life…”

And the Singapore Prison Service’s ads and promotions (around Sep 2019) spoke of “turning sentences into new chapters”, and the prison officers (previous term used) are now referred herein as “Correctional Rehabilitation Specialists”; what a cool name or job word applied!

4.1.5.2 How You Say the Word(s) Too Counts

Our words should be purrs instead of hisses.—Kathrine Palmer Peterson

Do not say it grouchily, sulkily or bad-temperedly. Or in a monotonous, unexcited way.

One needs to say the words clearly and politely. One observer spoke to the author, “Some people just cannot speak politely and each time they open their mouths or speak, it’s as if they want to quarrel or pick an argument with others”.

To be persuasive, the skilled negotiator has to say his (her) words kindly to the OP.

How it is said is important; the way and the tone one says the word(s) is (are) crucial.

Say in a persuasive manner, and it becomes persuasive. Say in an unpolished and unkind way, and it becomes crude, even cruel and unpersuasive. How one says it makes it persuasive or otherwise.

4.1.6 Apply Listening

Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure.—Henri Nouwen

When you listen to the OP, the OP will be willing to listen to you—only if you listen well in the first place.

Be a good or an active listener. The good listener judges the content, and usually skips over the delivery mistakes. He or she listens for the central themes and often withholds judgement until understanding is complete. Successful negotiators work hard in terms of listening while exhibiting an active body state (language) and fighting or avoiding distractions. Conversely, poor listeners tend to tune out if the delivery is poor or daydream with slow speakers. Distracted easily, they usually show low energy output and their attention is normally faked.

Here, it is, more so applicable, if you are the staff then ask:

Is the executive, as an OP, listen to the employees (trade unionists) enough? Does the executive, as an OP, listen enough to you, as an employee? When the employees are not happy or dissatisfied at work, they can feel as though they have two choices: quit or voice their concerns. Organisations can prevent turnover and retain more employees by creating work environments in which people want to choose the latter. One way to help employees feel heard is to regularly conduct anonymous surveys that allow them to give feedback on various aspects of their roles. When people can speak up about their frustrations without facing consequences for it, managers can gain valuable insights into what their employees want and need. Share the results of these surveys with the leadership team; you may want to address common concerns in a company-wide offsite or team meetings. It’s also important for managers to show employees they are acting on prominent issues. You may not be able to solve every problem or fix every dissatisfaction, but demonstrating that you’re willing to listen is a good step toward improving work for everyone (Adhvaryu, Molina and Nyshadham 2019; https://hbr.org/2019/04/want-fewer-employees-to-quit-listen-to-them?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_not_activesubs&referral=00203).

If you are forced unprepared into a negotiation situation, then you have to listen. Use the process of listening. Sometimes, lawyers and property agents usually know the history of a deal well and are normally willing to talk about it even before the negotiation begins. If you are not ready to negotiate, then the best way to spend time is listening.

If pushed further, tell the truth. Say that you are not prepared, and use the time to your advantage to inquire about the OP’s position.

4.1.7 Apply Pressure or Work Things Out In A More Relaxed Pace (Time)

The challenge is to stay cool enough to handle the pressure in the moment so that you can succeed in the future.—Jurgen Klopp

Pressure can burst a dam or can create a diamond.—Kim Cheng Patrick Low

Give a deadline; it can be a rush job to seal the deal. Put a short time period or frame on the negotiation deal that both parties must work out and reach an agreement (make a deal).

Or there can be no hurry, and both parties can work things out in a more relaxed pace. Parties can also meet in more informal settings—at the coffee shops and/ or cafes. The negotiator too can manage the process, applying a long(er) time frame for both parties to work out and reach a mutually agreed deal.

On one hand, one can also have a formal setting for the meetings. Have agendas set up, and proceedings recorded; a serious tone is set. And this would give a “more formal approach to things” mood to the OP. On the other hand, one can choose informal settings such as having discussions at the food courts for the negotiation meetings. Note that informal settings would ordinarily give a more relaxed feeling to the OP and all parties involved.

Interestingly, Donald Trump once said, “My style of deal-making is quite simple and straightforward. I aim very high, and then I just keep pushing and pushing and pushing to get what I’m after. Sometimes I settle for less than I sought, but in most cases I still end up with what I want”, and these mean his process is to apply pressure to his OP to get the deal(s) or things done.

4.1.8 Be Aware and Apply of the Process of Counter-offer

Please note that counter-offers make both parties more pleased or satisfied.

Every buyer wants or desires to feel and sense that they got a good deal; every seller wants to feel as if they pushed a hard bargain. Parties are most happy on both fronts if there was some back and forth. This may come as a surprise if you’re a person who loathes negotiation.

Galinsky even advised (cited by Hedges 2013) that one should not take the first offer, even if it meets one’s needs. By going back and asking for concessions one can ensure that one got the best deal, and increase one’s partner’s satisfaction as well. More satisfied partners are more likely to work harder and be more committed to the end result, which is the ideal or best outcome (result) from the start.

4.1.9 Feel Powerful!

Fear is a powerful beast. But we can learn to ride it.—Justine Musk

Energise yourself!

Apply this process: Feel powerful! When you feel weak, you will lose. Feel powerful and be powerful, you will be powerful!

[If you feel afraid, you will be afraid and not feel powerful; it’s as simple as that!]

It’s the heart that makes you confident. It’s the heart that makes you powerful.

Feeling weak is also another serious negotiating mistake. When you feel weak, ask for a pause, have a break. When you feel weak, it is usually and almost always because your preparation is lacking.

Strengthen yourself by pausing and/or preparing—gather further information. Psyche yourself. If you are lacking in confidence, review your assets and achievements, and build your self-esteem.

4.1.10 Apply the Psychological Process when Dealing with the OP’s Objections

If my ‘mind’ don’t mind, I don’t mind.—Amit Kalantri

Yes, give a process. And you can do it by applying the psychological process even when dealing with the OP’s objection(s).

When the OP raises objections, do not respond too quickly. If you respond too quickly, you would appear as being defensive in the OP’s eyes. Instead, listen carefully to the OP. Show that you understand the OP; you are empathetic to the OP’s feelings. Then you explain, give reasons and confirm if your answers have dealt with the objection(s) raised.

Here, one needs to use the psychological process approach, applying the 4 As System# (Low 2000, 2002, 2006, pp. 116–117):

Acknowledge the objection: Face it openly and squarely. You may want to say, “Yes, I see your point. What makes you say so?”

Ask: Ask OP for his concerns, and probe to get more details of the objection. “You said…. Perhaps, you can tell me more about it”.

Listen fully to the objection raised. And show understanding and empathy.

If you have not listened and shown understanding to your OP, then when you explain your position, the OP’s mind will be closed to your explanations. The OP may be thinking, “Why should I listen to you when you have not listened to me?” So here, it is critical that you first allow the OP to express his concerns and apply the subsequent process of listening, understanding and empathy. Once this is done, then….

Account for or answer: Show that you understand, saying, “I understand what your position is” or “I understand what you’re saying”. Then give your reasons to explain your position/situation.

Affirm: Check with the OP if he or she accepts your answers. If not, probe further as you may not have addressed his or her concerns. “Does that help you in understanding your concerns over ____ (e.g. the price/fees, the appointment, etc.)”.

4.1.11 Give Your OP Face… and Take Notes

What you feel inside reflects on your face. So be happy and positive all the time.—Sridevi

“In the end, the best victory is the one that looks like a defeat”. Said Neel Burton. And it appears as if you have lost much face or been humbled, but what have actually happened is that you have given much “face” and “process” to the OP. Yet you know, in the heart of hearts, that you have won.

You have smartly given to the other party (or parties) their self-image, ego or self-esteem that they prize (some people may simply value these so much), so that (s)he/they will, in turn, let you have some better terms, for example free deliveries and longer warranties (some contents). You give process to the OP yet you take the content from them.

Remember to give face or massage your OP’s ego or self-esteem. “Face” is so important among Asians. The Chinese have a saying that is worth mentioning, that is “A gentleman can be killed but cannot be humiliated”.

Note that when the OP feels that (s)he is losing (even losing face), it’s only natural that the OP will attempt to prevent you from winning too much. At this point, it is apt to quote these words of Sydney J. Harris: “The most important thing in an argument, next to being right, is to leave an escape hatch for your opponent, so that he can gracefully swing over to your side without too much apparent loss of face”.

How then do you give your OP face? If need be, distract the OP with other minor things or have some small talk on other things other than the negotiation issues.

And make your OP feel important. Give him (her) the top of the world feeling. Boost his (her) ego.

Give your OP face by showing your interest, listening and taking notes. Be all ears! Taking notes shows that you’re listening, paying attention to your OP as well as trying to resolve the problem(s).

Taking notes also make it easier to resume the conversation, “Looking at the notes I took previously, perhaps we can now discuss….” When you take notes, you are also able to focus your attention as well as change the pace of the negotiation. Occasionally, you can put down your pen and offer comments or say in confidence, “Off the record, I believe…”.

4.1.12 It’s Not Just What You Say or Give, But Do Stress the Benefits Please

I always wanted to be a chef. Flavors and food were always of interest to me, but it was how those things brought friends and family together to celebrate not only the special occasions but everyday life. It has been a blessing that I have been able to pursue a career that creates a product that brings people together.—Maneet Chauhan

Yes, this helps much, and it makes the products and/or services attractive and even appealing, giving more incentives for the OP to deal with your Company and you.

Skilled salesperson or negotiator stresses on the benefits that they give to their OPs and clients. Benefits are the reasons customers buy your products and/or services. They are the value that customers realise from a product or service, and it is also the value that OPs understand they get from their relationship and interactions with your Company and you.

One does not point out or talk about product features, but one highlights the benefits and merits of one’s products. Such benefits can include product durability, buyer’s convenience, user’s comfort and a host of other benefits and advantages. One also speaks of values; for example an environmentally friendly product that helps customers feels good about a purchase. And other examples include: An electric car that can make it from one city to another on a single charge is certainly more efficient and alluring! And an old hotel with character can give or make guests get a (nostalgic/sense of importance) feeling from it.

Take note too that the successful negotiator also links these product benefits with the OP’s (customer’s) needs.

To cite an example, when the car company (selling cars) provides the loan car when the customer’s car is in for service, and the customer’s needs here are the need for not being without a car. The effective car company negotiator then highlights that, “We supply (provide) you with a loan car whenever a car is in for service so your sales-people will not lose any time from the job because they had to wait for their cars”.

Further, when one negotiates, one does not sell or highlight one’s product (service) brands or say how strong one’s brand(s) is (are), but rather, one emphasises the benefits that one’s brands give. And these include the association or links that the customers enjoy, having been associated with your Company/your Company’s Brands. Be aware that customers are attracted to brands that they share values with. And what more, the enhanced credibility and shared values are also rubbed off to the (would-be) existing buyers and customers.

Besides, when a business or a Company has great branding, people notices. People also often notices the company(ies) they are associated with And often, those people who are noticing are normally very talented influencers, social media marketers, website designers or concept builders.

4.1.13 Before You Present, Plan the Delivery (Make Your Presentation Persuasive)

Great negotiations happen when people are relaxed, so a relaxing environment is important. A high-energy environment tenses people up. It closes them up. You’re not as likely to get that concession.—Jon Taffer

These pointers are by no means exhaustive; some key pointers are put up. Readers are certainly advised to think through, reflect and write down further or more pointers that may be applicable to them.

Do arrive early. It is always best to allow oneself plenty of time to settle in before one’s talk; one can also get used or accustomed to the meeting room and one’s presentation area and space.

Yes, it is also good to do one’s best to chat with people before one’s presentation. Talking with audiences makes one’s seem more likeable and approachable.

Before one presents, one must think of the process of delivery to persuade or influence one’s audience. Prepare and do one’s homework well. Think too of a good opener—one that grabs the audience’s (OP’s) attention.

Greet the audience/the OP well. Do greet the audience with enthusiasm.

Do have one’s objectives for one’s presentation. And make sure that one is able to connect or link with one’s audience/OP. One’s audience will have a variety or diversity of different experiences, interests and levels of knowledge. A powerful and successful presenter will need to acknowledge these and prepare for and respond to them accordingly. Ask oneself:

• How much will one’s audience already know about one’s topic?

• How can one link or connect new material to things the audience (one’s OP) might already understand?

• Will one need to win the audience (one’s OP) over to a particular point of view?

Sure, one may not be able to answer these questions for each member of one’s audience, but one should have enough information to ensure that one has targeted one’s material at the right level for their needs. This might involve avoiding technical jargon or explaining abstract concepts with clear practical examples. If one fails to consider one’s audience’s needs, one will fail to appeal to their interest and imagination.

The opening of one’s presentation is important. The introduction to one’s presentation is vital. It is one’s first point of contact with the audience (OP); one can either capture or lose one’s audience’s interest in a matter of seconds. Use one’s introduction to lay a clear foundation for the presentation to follow. Try using this structure:

• Introduce yourself.

• State what one will be talking about (a title or subject area).

• State how one will be talking about it (e.g. by comparing test results or reviewing the supporting literature).

• State what one intends to be the outcome of your presentation (an informed

  group, a lively discussion).

• State what one expects one’s audience to do (listen, take notes, read a handout and ask questions before/during/after).

Always give one’s audience a moment to absorb this information before moving into one’s first key point.

Show, illustrate and give the audience some visuals; show them some diagrams, charts and graphs.

One should create something that the audience (your OP) will always remember. Use shocking figures or statistics; here, don’t glide over them, but rather amplify them. The audience should be emotionally connected to you via evocative pictures or emotionally potent visuals.

Duarte (2012, p. 75–79) spoke of adding emotional texture, that is adding one’s own personal stories and memories such as the important times of one’s life, one’s relatives, authority figures, one’s peers, one’s staff or subordinates, one’s enemies, one’s important places and things one cherish as well as things that have injured one.

One, for example needs to use metaphors; they are interesting, powerful literary device. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech about 20 percent of what he said was metaphorical. He likened, for example his lack of freedom to a bad check that “America has given the Negro people… a check which has come back marked ‘insufficient funds’” (Duart 2012, p. 81).

One should give effective presentations to connect with one’s audience (OP). One should indeed inspire action and engage the audience. Note that people love to talk and make their views and opinions heard, but the nature of presentations can often appear like a one-sided proposition. Yet it does not have to be.

One can ask the audience what they think; and one can also invite questions and suggestions; and other means of welcoming audience participation can boost engagement while making one’s attendees feel like a part of a conversation. It also makes one, the presenter, seems much more approachable and relatable.

If one is conducting a training session, then do involve the audience with role-plays or skits. It should not be pedagogy or sage-on-stage style, but more of applying adult learning style. Or indeed to be persuasive, one needs to apply the andragogic style and ways. Break the audience into various groups or teams and have team workouts and discussions.

Even if your presentation is packed with useful information, if your delivery bombs, so will your session.

Warning: Do not use fillers—all the “ahems” and “ums”; these fillers can be annoying, if not irritating. Then again, it is also about turning lemons into lemonade—just as some authors, for example Shapira (2019) thought that one can take advantage of fillers. There are times when they can be helpful—if one uses them strategically. First, they are helpful when one needs to be diplomatic. If one wants to soften one’s message, perhaps to give someone delicate feedback, a hedge word like “just” or a phrase like “We may want to consider” can be an effective shield or cushion. Second, filler words can help one holds the floor. If one is in a meeting where people interrupt the presenter, a well-placed “so” can ward off interruptions while the presenter transits to his or her next thought. And finally, a “well” or “actually” can help one break into a conversation. Just make sure one is not cutting someone off mid-sentence.

And yes, the presenter needs to be entertaining too; and in training people, one needs to indeed be an entertainer. This author finds that including some humour and light-hearted stories, visuals and slides is a useful way to help the audience (OP) (and yes, even myself) feels more relaxed and comfortable, especially when presenting the audience (OP) with much information. Nonetheless, it is important to maintain a balance—after all, one is not performing a stand-up talk show, and people didn’t come to one’s presentation with the key intention of being entertained. That said, don’t be afraid to tell a joke or two, as long as it is a clean and non-insult joke where and when possible. If one is not sure about whether a presentation is “too much”, run through it for a couple of close friends and ask them to tell it to one straight.

And finally, one needs to make the ending of one’s presentation powerful.

One’s “ending should leave your audience with a heightened sense of what could be – and willingness to believe or do something new” (Duarte 2012, p. 73). Show them that taking action will be worth their effort, and point out to them the benefits—what needs of theirs will one’s ideas meet? Tell or better still show them also how will one’s ideas help the OP/audience’s peers/direct reports, customers/friends and/or contacts and associates? Also, show the benefits to the world—How will one’s ideas help the people? How will they improve the people’s welfare, well-being or help the environment/nature?

4.1.14 Before You Present Your News, Think of the Delivery

Yes, many of us too have to deliver news. And at work from time to time, one also has to deliver bad news; and few like to deliver it. Research shows that people hearing bad news do certainly “shoot (kill) the messenger”, which means you should be careful about your delivery.

Often as a leader and manager, one has to give feedback to one’s staff; and sometimes these include giving negative feedback or bad news.

In terms of the process, Van Edwards (2017) spoke of, the need for the deliverer or harbinger of news to “stay positive”. And giving the example of Pixar, she explained as follows:

Pixar, the animation studio, has mastered the art of sharing bad news without letting it hamper creativity. As part of their filmmaking process, Pixar’s leaders put their teams through several rounds of in-depth critique sessions. But rather than focusing on work that isn’t up to snuff, team members give critical feedback on the potential areas of improvement. This makes it easier for the creators to accept negative feedback, because it is not viewed as a personal attack on them. There is science behind this. Researchers have found that when people hear negative information presented with a positive tone, they do not react as defensively as they do when they’re given the information with a negative tone.

While taking note of the tone of one’s voice, when giving feedback, one needs to also be focusing on the facts (Van Edwards 2017). Here, researchers have found that the most effective negative feedback is supported by provable or showable reasons for it. The benefit of using facts to deliver bad news is that it makes the news or report less emotional. For example, if one has to tell one’s team that one’s company lost a major client and needs to make budget cuts as a result, to the extreme extent possible identify practical reasons why the client left and outline what is going to change moving forward. This keeps the conversation action-centred and avoids depicting the news as a personal loss or a betrayal of the client.

When you have to tell someone information they will find unpleasant or disagreeable, do attempt to convey that you are doing it to help them. For example, preamble or introduce it with a statement like, “I know that what I’m about to tell you isn’t what you hoped to hear, and I wanted to let you know so that we can work together to find a solution”. Interestingly, Molinsky (2018) highlighted that one should “be direct, but also as compassionate as you can be”. “You don’t want to sugarcoat bad news, but you also don’t need to be cold or robotic in delivering it. Get right to the point; explain the rationale; leave no room for misinterpretation; and be calm, present, and as compassionate as you can possibly be”.

And yes, this author agrees to this; I want to underscore this process point: one should and needs to show that one cares for the OP. What more, this process also makes delivering the news a two-way conversation, an exchange rather than a frontal attack.

If the OP senses or feels your good intentions, they will be less likely to take their negative feelings out on you. And when you need to deliver negative feedback, try beginning with some positive feedback, which can make the OP more receptive and open. One might also say something like, “I’m telling you this because I see your potential and I want to help you learn (grow)”.

Molinsky (2018) also pointed out the place to deliver the bad news. He spoke of, “mak(ing) sure to deliver the news in a place that is private, minimises embarrassment, and allows the other person to maintain their dignity. But at the same time, think about your own safety and well-being as well, because difficult conversations can get emotional very quickly”.

One also needs to help one’s people to get better. After one delivers bad news, assess the recipient’s reaction to decide whether they have a growth mind—basically, a belief in their wanting to learn and their own ability to grow and make progress. Someone who does will be encouraged or motivated to improve the situation; someone who does not will act beaten. If the person is beaten, reassure them with specific reasons why they can bounce back from what occurred, and offer them precise or clear ideas for doing so. And then check back regularly. Your people will likely need some time to recover from the initial shock. And if you stick with them, they will come around.

4.1.15 Apply Agendas (Discussion Items) as a Process Aid

Religious traditions and selfish agenda are laid aside when we are poor in spirit.—Sunday Adelaja

The challenge is to stay cool enough to handle the pressure in the moment so that you can succeed in the future.—Jurgen Klopp

Pressure can burst a dam or can create a diamond.—Kim Cheng Patrick Low

Agendas make it clear what the action items are and who are the responsible persons. This allows attendees and negotiation parties to leave meetings knowing what must be achieved before the next negotiation (meeting). The agenda also allows attendees to review action items at the next meeting and receive progress reports of development or steps forward.

Agendas which can be formal and obvious or informal and subtle are, in short, used to prioritise urgencies and significances in negotiation discussions.

In negotiation process management, when one writes the agenda, one can more effectively lead the conversation. One can arrange what items to discuss first and what to be discussed later or at the tail end. Then again, if one did not write the agenda, one would also often take it that the agenda (items or topics) is (are) not cast in stone, but, that it can accordingly be amended or changed.

4.1.16 How Do You Give Feedback?

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.—Frank A. Clark

We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.—Bill Gates

Giving feedback to one’s staff is a very important process in persuading him (her).

Not everyone, say, in a business unit or a family business is a top performer. Some family members may feel entitled or authorised, relaxed or complacent; slack off and be an underperformer; others may think they will get a pass for their mistakes. How do you give someone or an employee feedback in such situations?

It is very easy to be critical or to criticise; one, however, needs to appreciate or cherish the individual’s strong points, strengths and skills.

And as a leader/manager, one can start the discussion by asking questions that will help you understand how the person sees their work and what they want to contribute, what parts or role they want to play. Listen carefully, and then respond with a kind but unambiguous description of the expectations of their role. Doing this will set the stage for one to offer further comments about their performance. If the family dynamic makes the conversation too risky or uncomfortable; consider having a third party convey the feedback instead.

On the other hand, it may be that the person is not a good fit for their role. In that case, think about where in the company the person’s skills would be useful. You may wish to redeploy the person to new tasks. Remember to show respect for the person’s ties to the Company (family), while being frank and open about what one expects as their boss.

4.1.17 Practice Is Everything

Practice is everything. This is often misquoted as practice makes perfect.—Periande

Do practice, and have these processes of negotiation as part of you.

Use it or lose it.

And I share the same sentiments as Tony Dorsett; he spoke of, “I’m a strong believer that you practice like you play, little things make big things happen”.

Without practice, a negotiation can feel more like an argument, a self-centred demand or an order, giving and instruction. Without practice, a negotiation can be not persuasive or our words appear sterile and without much convictions. But when you practice negotiation skills in everyday interactions, one starts to see negotiation as a process toward an agreement, rather than an argument, making one feels more comfortable during high rewards negotiations.

4.2 The Content of the Negotiation

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.—Mark Twain

Knowledge is power.—Francis Bacon

The negotiation content is the subject matter.

Know the subject matter well. Do research on it. Look at the pros and cons of particular issues.

Look at the background information. Study the company’s history and key activities. Look at the key people within the company. Also, know the thinking of these people. And look at various angles and perspectives.

Look at:

^lThe history of the relationships between the two parties.

^lThe sensitivities involved or certain unique issues in the relationships.

^lThe people or the teams in the negotiation—yours and the OP’s.

^lThe issue(s), the problem(s), the alternative(s) and the option(s) involved.

^lEach party’s position, needs, styles and strategies/tactics.

^lIf there is a third party.

^lIf you know the third party.

^lIf there is a need to involve the third party.

^lHow the third party can raise or elevate your technical know-how or give you an edge over the OP?

^lThe background and overview history of the case.

^lThe merits (benefits) and demerits (disadvantages) of the case; who’s connected to the case, and how they each view the case?

^lWhat you have learnt from previous interactions?

^lWhat happened in the past between both parties?

^lWhat can be the common ground or experiences shared by both parties?

^lWhat particular negotiations both parties have had in the past?

^lWhat data the OP needs to have to build a case?

^lWhat the OP already knows?

^lWhat the OP needs to find out to build a case?

^lWhat you already know?

^lWhat facts/data you need to have to build your case?

^lIf there are any laws and/or regulations affecting your topic of negotiation?

4.3 Checkpoint

Think About It

• 1. “A question is more powerful than a statement.” Explain how this might be so.

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• 2. Think of at least three ways of using questions/types of questions in negotiations.

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• 3. How do you use process to enhance or increase the sales of your products or services?

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• 4. Using process, how or in what ways can you create a competitive negotiation climate?

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• 5. Using or managing process, how or in what ways could you create a cooperative negotiation climate?

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• 6. Applying process, how or in what ways can you make your presentation persuasive?

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• 7. Using process, how or in what ways do you deliver news to your OP? And next, how do you break bad news to your OP?

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• 8. How would you negotiate or go about doing this? You approach a colleague about feeling mistreated or you’re upset about something (s)he said.

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• 9. How would you negotiate this? You approach a coworker about something (s)he messed up.

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• 10. How would you give feedback to an employee who has made a mistake?

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• 11. This family member employee feels entitled. How or in what ways would you, as a professional manager, give feedback to this employee?

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• 12. Write short notes on your take of “the process of counter-offers”.

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• 13. How would you negotiate or deal with this? A colleague yells at you because of something you said or did.

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• 14. Your own pointers:

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4.4 In Your OP’s Shoes—OP Needs

In Your OP’s Shoes—OP Needs: From now on, I will create and build a conscious effort to hear everything I say through my listener’s ears and, whenever appropriate, phrase it from their perspective especially of their OP needs.

Negotiation Case: _________________________________________________

OP Needs:

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4.5 More Exercises and Practices

Respond in a positive manner, build a cooperative spirit and avoid negatives. Reframe or restate the OP’s words, giving your positive response.

The OP says, in response to you:

• 1. “The cost of the design is high/prohibitive”.

• 2. “I don’t think our management will agree to this proposal”.

• 3. “We tried something like that before, but it did not work!”

• 4. “Your preparation (paperwork) appears too complicated. There’s no time for all those details!”

• 5. “It (e.g. the proposed work/project) appears okay, but there are problems in implementing it”.

• 6. “Change is fine, but we failed last time”.

• 7. “You don’t understand me”.

4.6 Checklist

Yourself as a climate setter, managing the negotiation climate

• Think of the various ways in which you can set a cooperative climate.

• Think of the various ways in which you can set a competitive climate.

• Think of the various ways in which you can create a good feeling/ good mood negotiating atmosphere.

• How do you rate yourself as a climate setter?

How effective are you at setting and maintaining an appropriate negotiation climate?

^lEstablishing and gaining a feeling of trust and mutual help with long-time customers/suppliers (OP).

^lProving the benefits of win–win to the OP.

^lEmploying positive words to create a positive and cooperative negotiation climate, helping each other to achieve the goals.

^lUsing time/timing to manage the appropriate negotiation climate.

^lUsing positive body language and place to create the appropriate negotiation climate.

^lFinding win–win trade-offs that benefit both sides.

^lGetting the OP to share short-/mid-term goals.

^lGetting the OP to share long-term goals.

^lManaging a mutual exchange of helpful information.

^lGetting the right people involved to enhance a long-term relationship.

^lTesting or getting rid of potentially damaging assumptions.