Ashamed to Mother: The Practice of ‘Nebere Aluu’ in Kyrgyzstan

Abstract

This article explores ‘nebere aluu’, a practice of forceful adoption of young children by their patrilineal grandparents. Adopted children’s birth mothers are the focus of this study which builds on primary data collected in 2021 in Kyrgyzstan. The authors analyze their subjective experiences with the goal of describing the practice from their own standpoint and exploring how they understand, interpret and cope with it. Their accounts are then analytically placed in relation to a wider system of domination in which nebere aluu is embedded. We argue that the practice serves several multiple and complex functions. It is deployed as a micro-strategy in service of a patriarchal backlash aggravated by economic uncertainty and social insecurity. It may operate as a social protection system for the men’s elderly parents whose capacity to rely on any state’ provision of care is compromised. Findings also suggest that nebere aluu can work as a discursive space in which young women negotiate their identities and resist their subjugation. However, the culture of uyat prevents the successful combination of their roles as mothers and as daughters-in-law. When these roles are in opposition, women’s decision to retain their right to motherhood produces stigmatization and social disapproval exposing them to the brutality of uyat.