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Introduction

There are many factors that may cause premature ejaculation (PE). For many men, the problem may be related to anxiety. Anxiety often sets up a chain of events that may worsen things. The more you worry about the problem, the worse it gets. Other factors that can cause PE are faulty learned behaviors – such as climaxing too quickly during masturbation; relationship conflict with one’s partner, which leads to tension and stress; and feelings of guilt and inadequacy about sex that may cause one to rush through intercourse.

Behavioral Therapy Steps

Here are some simple steps to deal with PE:

  1. 1.

    Exercise.

    Being fit and healthy will boost your confidence. If you feel good about yourself physically, your confidence in bed will naturally improve. Specific pelvic muscle exercises are important, too. Learn to tighten and strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle. This is the muscle that controls urine flow and ejaculation. Isolate that muscle by stopping your urine flow the next time you go to the bathroom. That is the muscle you need to strengthen.

  2. 2.

    Manage stress.

    Learn to manage expectations of yourself and your relationship. If you are feeling tense and rushed all the time, it will affect your sexual performance. Yoga, meditation, and slow, deep breathing exercises can help defuse stress. Spend a few moments everyday to lower your stress levels.

  3. 3.

    Improve communication with your partner.

    Talk about the issue in an open, nonconfrontational way. Be comfortable with each other, find out what arouses her in bed, and learn to feel calm and confident when you are naked together in bed.

  4. 4.

    Learn to stop and start.

    This technique involves masturbating alone. During the first few times, masturbate in private without lubrication. Once you are close to climaxing, immediately stop and let the feeling subside. Do this a few times until you are confident of controlling your orgasm. Next, you can try masturbating with lubrication. Again, try to build the sensations up to the point you feel are about to climax, and then, stop. The idea is to train yourself to get comfortable with increasing levels of arousal. Gradually, you will be able to last longer before reaching that point of no return.

  5. 5.

    Practice the squeeze technique.

    If you feel like you are about to climax during sexual activity with your partner, get her to apply gentle but firm pressure where the head of the penis joins the shaft. Continuing squeezing until the urge to ejaculate subsides. Wait for half a minute to a minute, then resume sexual activity. If the urge to ejaculate returns, reapply the squeeze technique again. This technique helps you get used to the feeling of controlling the urge to ejaculate, and with time, you will be able to delay reaching orgasm too quickly.

  6. 6.

    Self-distraction.

    This is like the stop-start and squeeze methods, except you control the urge to ejaculate but suddenly thinking of something nonsexual, such as football.

  7. 7.

    Think positive.

    Use positive imagery to enhance your bedroom confidence. Instead of focusing on failure, tell yourself you are a good lover, and that you will be able to please your partner. By focusing on positive feelings, you will distract yourself from feelings of stress.

  8. 8.

    Find the right position.

    Find a sexual position that you find relaxing and comfortable Kaplan (1975–1987). Being on top may not necessarily be the best option because supporting your weight with your arms may increase overall muscle tension. Instead, try the female on top or side-to-side position.

Try these behavioral techniques and figure out which one works best for you. Remember – practice is the key. Think positive and do not despair if things do not go well at first. PE is a very treatable condition.